Why Setting Strong Boundaries Is Part Of This Sleep-Focused MD's Nightly Routine

From the time I was in medical school, I've struggled with sleep issues. Back then, I had a combination of sleep deprivation and insomnia. Things got worse when I had kids, lost my parents, and became an attending physician. My relationship with sleep changed when I was able to fully connect its link to my anxiety and burnout. I started prioritizing my sleep and using self-taught cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, and I was able to get back on track.

In the process, it was important for me to set boundaries with work, friends, and family and learn to say no. (This was hard for me as a recovering people pleaser, but the realization that I was the best version of myself when I slept well helped.)

Don't get me wrong—I still have rough nights here and there, but I have been able to work through them without allowing things to spiral.

My experience with years of sleep issues was part of what motivated me to get additional training as a sleep physician. It's become one of my greatest missions to use my personal experiences and my understanding of the science of sleep to help others (especially busy moms!) prioritize sleep. 

Now, my best night's sleep definitely comes after a day of increased physical activity, particularly when I've spent a fair amount of time outdoors. Two things that get in my way of good quality sleep are stress or anxiety as well as inactivity. 

8:50 p.m.: It's a Thursday night. We just finished our family time with the kids (we read and talked about our days). I finish up some leftover work and update my next day's to-do list. 

9 p.m.: My reminder goes off on my phone to wind down in case I decided to sneak in any additional work! I respond to posts on social media, texts, and any final calls. Scheduling limited time to do this has been life-changing when it comes to setting boundaries! 

9:10 p.m.: I grab a glass of water, turn on the dishwasher, and head upstairs. I pop into the kids' rooms to make sure they are asleep and their phones are charging in the charging station. I bring out my scrubs for clinic the next day! 

9:15 p.m.: I start my routine by brushing my teeth, taking a nice hot shower, and doing my skin care routine. 

9:30 p.m.: I become inaccessible to the world, except for close family members and those on my VIP list (in case there's an emergency!). I'm sitting in my recliner in the bedroom near a dim lamp, and my blue-light-blocking glasses are on. I usually have a real book but sometimes I do use my Kindle. Today I'm reading The Pumpkin Plan.  

9:50 p.m.: Pray, meditate, and journal on gratitude. If I have a lot more on my mind, I may need to extend this a little longer. This practice really helps me offload any worrisome thoughts lingering in my mind before bed. 

10:05 p.m.: Get into bed, put my sleep mask on, tuck myself under the covers, kiss my hubby, and out I go. He tells me I'm asleep within minutes.

5:19 a.m.: Wake up. My alarm is set for 5:30 a.m. but it hasn't gone off yet. I quietly lie there to observe how I feel: rested. My next thoughts were about if my daughter was well enough to go to school. I responded with, "There's nothing I can do about it, said a quiet thank you Lord, and give you my cares." I got up and did some stretches to get my circulation going. 

I probably should have gone to bed about 10 minutes early since I fell asleep within minutes with my head hitting the pillow. I'll try that tonight and wrap up my reading a little earlier.